"An Intimate Welcome from Me, Carsenio St. Hubbins dated Sunday November 30th in the Year of Our Lord 2008. To those who visit my blog to read more about me and my doings in these turbulent times, I offer you a most intimate welcome. I wanted to include the word intimate because I believe such a word promotes intimacy in some strange way. I want you to feel like you are sitting with me in a private setting hearing me read these words straight from the soiled napkins I wrote them on. Perhaps the private setting could include candlelight and light chamber music. Then again, in order to be true to my character, I would replace the candlelight with firelight (due to many things in the room being lit on fire) and replace the chamber music with Iron Maiden which in and of itself it is chamber music if you consider an iron maiden a chamber (technically it was, only it was used for torture). In that intimate setting you would hear the warmth of my voice as I gave the explanation of how I need to replace the candlelight and chamber music. You would see the firelight reflect off my aviator sunglasses and the orange glow of fire radiating off my black mullet. You would see the black Van Halen T-Shirt from their 1993 tour I would be wearing slowly rotting away in front of your very eyes. You would smell my black Van Halen T-Shirt from their 1993 tour too, as I dare not wash it for fear it will disintegrate. I believe the bacteria may be what is holding the shirt together. You may catch a whiff of a Sharpie Marker mingled with the smells of Crown Burger, Carsenio St. Hubbins' burger joint of choice. You would no doubt see many partially used napkins adorning the scene, many of which may have been used to start the fire which by now has spread around the room. You would hear me refer to myself in third person again and again because that is one thing Carsenio St. Hubbins does, refer to himself in third person. Perhaps if the moment struck itself right St. Hubbins might sing you a song as the fire abiently burns. Lastly you may hear the song end with a reverberating belch as the Crown Burger I ate opts to offer its own intimate greeting to you. Oh the possibilities, oh what might of been. Unfortunately we're not able to be in that intimate setting, so I hope wherever you are, you feel the warmth, hear the music and smell the smells which signify my presence. Hopefully opportunity will offer each of you the chance to meet with me in such a setting in the future. It has been a very busy several months for Carsenio St. Hubbins. Between the grandeur that is everyday life for me, I have also been embroiled in political discourse, active in social restoration and rocking out most gloriously. May you all enjoy this blog and commit yourself to the excellence it stands for. Yours most triumphantly, Carsenio St. Hubbins"
Sunday, November 30, 2008
An Intimate Welcome From Carsenio St. Hubbins
Good day friends, Matt Macey here. For a blog that was setup several months ago, Carsenio St. Hubbins has finally gotten around to sending me the manuscript of his "Intimate Welcome" as he entitled it. It was written on several napkins using a Sharpie marker. More will be written about his use of Sharpies in future entries. You may find it odd it took him so long to get this started but it would be a mistake to question the methodology of Carsenio St. Hubbins. Everything he does is deliberate, even those things you might consider to be accidental. As for the manuscript, since it was written on napkins using a Sharpie you can imagine how difficult it was to read, especially since Carsenio writes extremely small. Between the tendency for the ink to bleed into the paper and the instances where he wrote around the globules of food and sauces that were prevalent on the napkins, it was by no means easy to translate the text. For historic posterity, it is my intent as abridger of St. Hubbins' record to provide photographic evidence of the original manuscripts in due time. First, because I want you to all know how difficult it was to transcribe, and two, so that history buffs can see the originals in the event St. Hubbins fulfils his destiny and becomes a crucial yet volatile element in the annals of history. The originals may one day become valuable keepsakes assuming the mold from the rotting food on the napkins doesn't overtake the writing as the years go by. Without further delay, here is his intimate welcome:
"An Intimate Welcome from Me, Carsenio St. Hubbins dated Sunday November 30th in the Year of Our Lord 2008. To those who visit my blog to read more about me and my doings in these turbulent times, I offer you a most intimate welcome. I wanted to include the word intimate because I believe such a word promotes intimacy in some strange way. I want you to feel like you are sitting with me in a private setting hearing me read these words straight from the soiled napkins I wrote them on. Perhaps the private setting could include candlelight and light chamber music. Then again, in order to be true to my character, I would replace the candlelight with firelight (due to many things in the room being lit on fire) and replace the chamber music with Iron Maiden which in and of itself it is chamber music if you consider an iron maiden a chamber (technically it was, only it was used for torture). In that intimate setting you would hear the warmth of my voice as I gave the explanation of how I need to replace the candlelight and chamber music. You would see the firelight reflect off my aviator sunglasses and the orange glow of fire radiating off my black mullet. You would see the black Van Halen T-Shirt from their 1993 tour I would be wearing slowly rotting away in front of your very eyes. You would smell my black Van Halen T-Shirt from their 1993 tour too, as I dare not wash it for fear it will disintegrate. I believe the bacteria may be what is holding the shirt together. You may catch a whiff of a Sharpie Marker mingled with the smells of Crown Burger, Carsenio St. Hubbins' burger joint of choice. You would no doubt see many partially used napkins adorning the scene, many of which may have been used to start the fire which by now has spread around the room. You would hear me refer to myself in third person again and again because that is one thing Carsenio St. Hubbins does, refer to himself in third person. Perhaps if the moment struck itself right St. Hubbins might sing you a song as the fire abiently burns. Lastly you may hear the song end with a reverberating belch as the Crown Burger I ate opts to offer its own intimate greeting to you. Oh the possibilities, oh what might of been. Unfortunately we're not able to be in that intimate setting, so I hope wherever you are, you feel the warmth, hear the music and smell the smells which signify my presence. Hopefully opportunity will offer each of you the chance to meet with me in such a setting in the future. It has been a very busy several months for Carsenio St. Hubbins. Between the grandeur that is everyday life for me, I have also been embroiled in political discourse, active in social restoration and rocking out most gloriously. May you all enjoy this blog and commit yourself to the excellence it stands for. Yours most triumphantly, Carsenio St. Hubbins"
"An Intimate Welcome from Me, Carsenio St. Hubbins dated Sunday November 30th in the Year of Our Lord 2008. To those who visit my blog to read more about me and my doings in these turbulent times, I offer you a most intimate welcome. I wanted to include the word intimate because I believe such a word promotes intimacy in some strange way. I want you to feel like you are sitting with me in a private setting hearing me read these words straight from the soiled napkins I wrote them on. Perhaps the private setting could include candlelight and light chamber music. Then again, in order to be true to my character, I would replace the candlelight with firelight (due to many things in the room being lit on fire) and replace the chamber music with Iron Maiden which in and of itself it is chamber music if you consider an iron maiden a chamber (technically it was, only it was used for torture). In that intimate setting you would hear the warmth of my voice as I gave the explanation of how I need to replace the candlelight and chamber music. You would see the firelight reflect off my aviator sunglasses and the orange glow of fire radiating off my black mullet. You would see the black Van Halen T-Shirt from their 1993 tour I would be wearing slowly rotting away in front of your very eyes. You would smell my black Van Halen T-Shirt from their 1993 tour too, as I dare not wash it for fear it will disintegrate. I believe the bacteria may be what is holding the shirt together. You may catch a whiff of a Sharpie Marker mingled with the smells of Crown Burger, Carsenio St. Hubbins' burger joint of choice. You would no doubt see many partially used napkins adorning the scene, many of which may have been used to start the fire which by now has spread around the room. You would hear me refer to myself in third person again and again because that is one thing Carsenio St. Hubbins does, refer to himself in third person. Perhaps if the moment struck itself right St. Hubbins might sing you a song as the fire abiently burns. Lastly you may hear the song end with a reverberating belch as the Crown Burger I ate opts to offer its own intimate greeting to you. Oh the possibilities, oh what might of been. Unfortunately we're not able to be in that intimate setting, so I hope wherever you are, you feel the warmth, hear the music and smell the smells which signify my presence. Hopefully opportunity will offer each of you the chance to meet with me in such a setting in the future. It has been a very busy several months for Carsenio St. Hubbins. Between the grandeur that is everyday life for me, I have also been embroiled in political discourse, active in social restoration and rocking out most gloriously. May you all enjoy this blog and commit yourself to the excellence it stands for. Yours most triumphantly, Carsenio St. Hubbins"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
