Getting back to the Shiny Car Initiative, St. Hubbins has not pursued any of his plans for pigeon eradication. He may one day move forward with his scheme, but for now he is going to put it on the back burner. Rather, he has opted to brief us with a list of what he has been doing the past several months:
"What I Have Been Doing the Past Several Months
by Carsenio St. Hubbins
- Rocked out hardcore! (October 2009)
- Traveled to Alaska to feed on Salmon and build up enough fat and protein to carry me through the winter as step 1 of my Hibernation Initiative. (October 2009)
- Dressed up like Matt Macey for Halloween- people told me I looked so clever with my short hair wig, pastel colored Polo shirt, jeans and New Balance trail running sneakers. (October 2009)
- Rocked out hardcore! (November 2009)
- Experienced sore joints due to excessive weight gain caused by massive salmon consumption the month previous. Took two Advil for the pain. (November 2009)
- Ate lots of Turkey at Thanksgiving in hopes the Tryptophan would bring on drowsiness, enabling me to enact step 2 of my Hibernation Initiative. Step 2 was listed as "Hibernate" (November 2009)
- Still awake on the day after Thanksgiving, avoided all the retail stores while plotting my next Holiday adventure. (November 2009)
- Rocked out hardcore!! (December 2009)
- Attended counseling with a Failed Hibernation Specialist who helped me realize being awake through the winter might actually be good for me. (December 2009)
- Wished for Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all Men (December 2009)
- Celebrated Christmas in a very Christian way at the local Jewish Community Center (December 2009)
- Decided to also celebrate Christmas at the local Mosque (December 2009)
- Celebrated New Years while in hiding from Islamic Extremists who were unhappy with my gift of a Christmas Tree to the local cleric. (January 2010)
- Rocked out hardcore in an undisclosed location!!! (January 2010)
- Emerged from hiding after arranging for a cartoon that was very complementary of the Prophet Mohammed to be published in a Dutch newspaper. (February 2010)
- Celebrated "Single Awareness Day" on February 14th by rocking out hardcore!!!! (February 2010)
- Contemplated getting snow tires as I kept spinning out when driving in the snow (February 2010)
- March Madness- didn't really watch it, too busy rocking out hardcore!!!!!! (March 2010)
- Celebrated St. Patrick's Day by wearing a green shirt which said "I'm Not Irish, and I'm Not Wearing Green Because of Your Holiday. I Wear Green to Hide a Medical Condition" (March 2010)
- Celebrated April Fools by playing jokes on everyone on the last day of March (March 2010)
- Happy Birthday St. Hubbins! (April 2010)
- Rocked out Hardcore!!!! (April 2010)
- Took a lovely stroll in the park trying to get hay fever from the pollen- it didn't work, so I had to go to work instead of calling in sick (April 2010)
- Still contemplated getting snow tires on my car in light of the April snow showers I kept spinning out in (April 2010)
- Noticed the May flowers were all killed by the April show showers (May 2010)
- Had a realization that had I hibernated through the winter I would have really had to pee when I woke up in the spring- was grateful I didn't hibernate. Celebrated by rocking out hardcore! (May 2010)
- Went north to the Tetons intending to take a picture of a bear and an eagle fighting over a fish. (June 2010)
- Sought solace in Jackson Hole after failing to get my picture of the eagle and bear fighting over a fish- looked up and saw a statue of that exact thing (June 2010)
- Celebrated by rocking out hardcore!!!!! (June 2010)
- After witnessing mass flooding due to accelerated spring snowmelt, felt really glad I didn't hibernate, as my post-hibernation bathroom session would have tripled the amount of spring runoff and wiped out half the city (June 2010)
- Happy 4th of July America, celebrated by blowing up a portion of this great land with fireworks obtained in Kabul Afghanistan. (July 2010)
- Traveled to Evanston, Wyoming to quell an uprising of angry fireworks dealers who were offended their sales dropped drastically this 4th of July when I opted to buy Afghan fireworks instead of their Chinese made bottle rockets. (July 2010)
- Rocked out hardcore!!!!!! (July 2010)
- Fell in love with a beautiful woman and wrote a very Un-St. Hubbinish song having been inspired by her. It was Un-St. Hubbinish in that it had no distortion, and it did not suck. (August 2010)
- Finally got those snow tires! (August 2010)
- The song was well received which prompted me to rock out hardcore!!!!!!! (August 2010)
- Read a pamphlet entitled "Long Lists and You; Why You Should Write One." Celebrated by rocking out hardcore, then putting this list on several napkins and submitting it for posting on this blog. (August 2010)"
